I’m not much of a rides person myself, but my wife and kid had a blast. Good times.

To keep my kid busy I buy him toys. This father buys his son cigarettes. But hey, who am I to judge? Maybe he’s on to something…get the kid so sick of smokes that by the time he reaches 3 yrs, he’ll be done with them for good just in time to move on to something else to get him through those oh so stressful toddler days.  Maybe I should trade my kid’s soother in for a crack pipe.

Neil Hamburger. You either love him or hate him. Courtney Love probably hates him.

Parkour -- “l’art du déplacement” (the art of displacement) is the physical discipline of training to overcome any obstacle within one’s path by adapting one’s movements to the environment.

Here, Michael, Dwight and Andy effortlessly demonstrate how to parkour around the workplace. It’s important to yell “parkour!” frequently so your coworkers know what you’re doing.

You’ll be hooked first episode.

Violet McKay -- Catherine O’Hara; Mojo -- Andrea Martin; Dr William Wainright -- John Candy; Rocco -- Joe Flaherty; Clay Collins -- Rick Moranis; Dr Elliot Sabien -- Eugene Levy;

He’s a philosopher, a scholar (grade 10) and a poet. Ricky from the Trailer Park Boys is a man whose mind is in a league of its’ own. It doesn’t take rocket appliances to figure that out.

“Beatboxing” as defined by Wikipedia, is “a form of vocal percussion which primarily involves the art of producing drum beats, rhythm, and musical sounds using one’s mouth, lips, tongue and voice”.

While beatboxing is mostly associated with hip hop music, the origins of the art of using one’s voice to imitate percussion sounds actually goes back several thousands of years.

Over the course of time, I’m confident no man has ever perfected the art (and looked so good doing it) than Shane ‘Delivering the Pain’ Lee.

The random word generator today resulted in “federal fish”.

YouTube RESULT: “Fish Counter -- What’s My Line”. A fish counter for the Federal Government was a guest on the 30 March 1958 episode.

I was oddly fascinated with every second of this 9 minute 59 second clip from the classic television hit which ran from 1950 to 1967. Would they guess it? Would I have been able to guess it? Can I get a job as a fish counter?…I did count cars one summer, so I would think that would give me a leg up on the other applicants. Come to think of it, while counting cars I did see a few Barracudas too.

Killer.

On a side note, this reminded me of a similar but far superior game show called “What’s My Shoe Size”

Today’s random phrase for YouTube is “distraction machine”

YOUTUBE RESULT: “The Parent Distraction Machine“

OMG where was this ingenious device when I was sixteen? It would have gotten me out of so many compromising situations. Can’t believe I didn’t think of this.

Funniest line is when she says “oh no, my mom is going to cum in my room…”. Sorry immature I know, but hey, look at what you’re watching.

Think I’ll have to recreate this device, but my rename it “The Wife Distraction Machine”.

Today’s random word phrase is “fun coaches”.

YOUTUBE RESULT: “Having fun at the coaches house (melissas)”

Can’t imagine anything but good results on YouTube with these search words. I should have known better. Immediately I find a 6 minute 34 second public service announcement promoting birth control. I challenge anyone to watch this from start to finish without gouging your eyes out with a fork.

It should be illegal to waste of battery power in this manner. Either the Chinese food was laced with crack, or these kids jimmied the lock on mom and dad’s liquor cabinet.

Today’s random phrase is “crush nations”

RESULT: “Arkhon Infaustus -- Ravaging the Nine Pillars”… the dead The mocking wrath of the prophets vomiting steel to crush nations. Laseive angels covering the walls, I am the flesh, I am the church of …

Geez, and I thought all country songs sounded alike.

This Paris death metal band got started in 1997 by members Dk Deviant and Torturer. I’m sure you already know all about the notorious Deviant and Torturer so won’t bore you with their biographies.

Their lyrics, like any successful artist out there these days, talk of Satanism, sex, anti-Christianity, and general acts of debauchery. Can’t go wrong with that formula for success.

Their first EP “In Sperma Infernum” was limited to 666 copies. Not sure if that was to be cool, or if there was just absolutely no possibility they could ever sell 667 copies. I gotta admit, my absolute fav album from these masters of metal has gotta be “Dead Cunt Maniacs” released in 2000. Every song on that album is a real toe-tapper.

WARNING: I listened to this while on my exercise bike and was pedalling so fast that I took off right through my basement wall.