“are you pissed or high, or what’s your problem?”

Various songs promoting and celebrating North America’s favorite beverage!

1. “Patios and Beer” -- a personal fav
2. The “Beer is Good for You” song
3. “Beer is Good” song
4. “The Beer Song”
5. “I Like Beer”
6. “The Beer Song” -- Country version
7. “D’Oh…a beer…”
8. “Christmas Beer Song” -- Grandpa’s drinkin’ song…
9. “Beer Run”
10. “In Heaven There Is No Beer”

The Simpsons testing out Indian market.

The South Park characters come alive…

The temblor hit at 1:41 p.m. ET south of Echo Lake, Que., 60 kilometres north of Ottawa near the Ontario border, and was felt across southern and eastern Ontario and western Quebec.

Here’s some pictures showing the devastation some residents experienced:

1.Mr. and Mrs. Pat Thompson sent in this scary picture after a chair fell to the ground in their back yard. Luckily, the chair was not occupied at the time and no injuries were reported.

2. Mr. Byron Davies sent in this photo showing several cracks in his sidewalk outside his residence after the eruption. He is hoping his insurance will cover the damages.

3. Mrs. Patti Bordeau sent in this shocking photo of books falling off her bookshelf. I’m happy to report that there was no damage to the books and Mrs. Bordeau was able to return them to the shelf in the exact same location prior to the tremor.

4. Ms. Suki Terriyaki felt her bed move for the first time in more that 43 years after the death of her husband Tom.

If you’re going to workout, you’re going to fart doing so. It’s just a matter of time. Just one of the reasons I avoid the gym.

I’m not much of a rides person myself, but my wife and kid had a blast. Good times.

To keep my kid busy I buy him toys. This father buys his son cigarettes. But hey, who am I to judge? Maybe he’s on to something…get the kid so sick of smokes that by the time he reaches 3 yrs, he’ll be done with them for good just in time to move on to something else to get him through those oh so stressful toddler days.  Maybe I should trade my kid’s soother in for a crack pipe.

Neil Hamburger. You either love him or hate him. Courtney Love probably hates him.

Parkour -- “l’art du déplacement” (the art of displacement) is the physical discipline of training to overcome any obstacle within one’s path by adapting one’s movements to the environment.

Here, Michael, Dwight and Andy effortlessly demonstrate how to parkour around the workplace. It’s important to yell “parkour!” frequently so your coworkers know what you’re doing.

You’ll be hooked first episode.

Violet McKay -- Catherine O’Hara; Mojo -- Andrea Martin; Dr William Wainright -- John Candy; Rocco -- Joe Flaherty; Clay Collins -- Rick Moranis; Dr Elliot Sabien -- Eugene Levy;

He’s a philosopher, a scholar (grade 10) and a poet. Ricky from the Trailer Park Boys is a man whose mind is in a league of its’ own. It doesn’t take rocket appliances to figure that out.

“Beatboxing” as defined by Wikipedia, is “a form of vocal percussion which primarily involves the art of producing drum beats, rhythm, and musical sounds using one’s mouth, lips, tongue and voice”.

While beatboxing is mostly associated with hip hop music, the origins of the art of using one’s voice to imitate percussion sounds actually goes back several thousands of years.

Over the course of time, I’m confident no man has ever perfected the art (and looked so good doing it) than Shane ‘Delivering the Pain’ Lee.

The random word generator today resulted in “federal fish”.

YouTube RESULT: “Fish Counter -- What’s My Line”. A fish counter for the Federal Government was a guest on the 30 March 1958 episode.

I was oddly fascinated with every second of this 9 minute 59 second clip from the classic television hit which ran from 1950 to 1967. Would they guess it? Would I have been able to guess it? Can I get a job as a fish counter?…I did count cars one summer, so I would think that would give me a leg up on the other applicants. Come to think of it, while counting cars I did see a few Barracudas too.

Killer.

On a side note, this reminded me of a similar but far superior game show called “What’s My Shoe Size”

Today’s random phrase for YouTube is “distraction machine”

YOUTUBE RESULT: “The Parent Distraction Machine“

OMG where was this ingenious device when I was sixteen? It would have gotten me out of so many compromising situations. Can’t believe I didn’t think of this.

Funniest line is when she says “oh no, my mom is going to cum in my room…”. Sorry immature I know, but hey, look at what you’re watching.

Think I’ll have to recreate this device, but my rename it “The Wife Distraction Machine”.

Today’s random word phrase is “fun coaches”.

YOUTUBE RESULT: “Having fun at the coaches house (melissas)”

Can’t imagine anything but good results on YouTube with these search words. I should have known better. Immediately I find a 6 minute 34 second public service announcement promoting birth control. I challenge anyone to watch this from start to finish without gouging your eyes out with a fork.

It should be illegal to waste of battery power in this manner. Either the Chinese food was laced with crack, or these kids jimmied the lock on mom and dad’s liquor cabinet.

Today’s random phrase is “crush nations”

RESULT: “Arkhon Infaustus -- Ravaging the Nine Pillars”… the dead The mocking wrath of the prophets vomiting steel to crush nations. Laseive angels covering the walls, I am the flesh, I am the church of …

Geez, and I thought all country songs sounded alike.

This Paris death metal band got started in 1997 by members Dk Deviant and Torturer. I’m sure you already know all about the notorious Deviant and Torturer so won’t bore you with their biographies.

Their lyrics, like any successful artist out there these days, talk of Satanism, sex, anti-Christianity, and general acts of debauchery. Can’t go wrong with that formula for success.

Their first EP “In Sperma Infernum” was limited to 666 copies. Not sure if that was to be cool, or if there was just absolutely no possibility they could ever sell 667 copies. I gotta admit, my absolute fav album from these masters of metal has gotta be “Dead Cunt Maniacs” released in 2000. Every song on that album is a real toe-tapper.

WARNING: I listened to this while on my exercise bike and was pedalling so fast that I took off right through my basement wall.

Today’s random phrase is “Pissy Bins”

RESULT: “Bin Urination”. Pissy bin boy!

First off, I can’t believe 5,230 morons have spent 55 seconds of their free time watching some dude piss in a bin….but I guess I just did exactly that. Wonder how many views I would get of a video of me crapping in my kitchen sink??? Secondly, what’s with the music? There’s gotta be some more lively music out there that was written specifically to listen to while urinating. I myself prefer to listen to Salt N Peppa’s “Push It” while I am pissing into bins.

Enjoy.

How do you play “Random Phrase YouTube” ? It’s simple -- and fun! Just use a random two word phrase generator you can find on the web, such as randomphrase.com and use that phrase to search in YouTube. The results can be quite interesting…and odd. From the results based on searching for the phrase on YouTube, I will post the strangest, funniest, most interesting or WORST video.

Let’s get started.

Today’s random phrase: “abused reunions”

RESULT: “Mike gets abused in Fresno”. Mike gets tortured by hordes of little beaner cousins throwing almonds at him during the family reunion in Fresno.”

OK, I think this video is exactly why YouTube was created. It’s 1 minute and 31 seconds of family fun guy Mike and his cousins who pelt the shit out of him with almonds. It’s memories like this that are the reason we all get together to celebrate the family.

Props to Mike for being such a good sport. If that was me they were pelting, I woulda had to get up and action some rolling wheel kicks and flying clotheslines to drop those little pests.